1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,171 (Tessa) A lot can be learned about a family 2 00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:07,298 by their breakfast table. 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,884 After recently navigating out of a rough patch 4 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,887 George was determined to have our relationship go smoothly. 5 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:16,057 As a result, our breakfast table was set with guilt. 6 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,686 I should have made you something hot. 7 00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,355 It's fine, I like cereal. 8 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,607 I know, but I had time. 9 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:27,902 I'm better than this. 10 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,487 George, it's cool. 11 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,367 Hey, why don't I make you a nice lunch to take to school? 12 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,369 Because it's Friday and the cafeteria 13 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,663 will be selling parmesan-crusted tator tots 14 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,707 which I will be buying a dozen of 15 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,084 like any self-respecting American. 16 00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,758 I'm gonna make her a nice lunch. 17 00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:51,551 (Dallas) 'Open.' 18 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,221 - Mnh.. - 'Open.' 19 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:58,099 Uh-oh, look here, Dalia. 20 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:01,186 I'm about to have a big old bite of your eggs carmenara. 21 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,981 Mmm! 22 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,358 Quick, you better have some before I finish it. 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,693 You can finish it. 24 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,403 Dalia, this hunger strike 25 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,988 cannot persist. 26 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,740 Sorry, mommy. 27 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,533 Ever since you and daddy Altman broke up 28 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,327 I just haven't had an appetite. 29 00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:18,453 Heed this, Dalia. 30 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,038 You will undergo nourishment 31 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,831 even if I have to ingest, digest 32 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,375 and straight retch this egg dish into your mouth 33 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,002 like a ruby-throated hummingbird. 34 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,712 Now open. 35 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,589 Open. 36 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,217 - Hmn-mnh. - Dalia. 37 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,384 Open it! 38 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,096 [instrumental music] 39 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,103 Lisa, call your brother. 40 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,396 On the phone? 41 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:47,899 Don't be a wisenheimer. 42 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,318 - 'Call your brother.' - He's in Florida. 43 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,695 For the love of Pete, just call him. 44 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:57,200 Ryan. Breakfast. 45 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,868 [laughs] 46 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,328 And then, Fred, remember? 47 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,412 He'd come bounding down those stairs 48 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,789 like a Carolina Clydesdale. 49 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,124 He loved to bound. 50 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,501 'And how I loved watching him bound.' 51 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,294 So glorious and graceful! 52 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,671 [sighs] 53 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:12,048 Unlike this one, she's like a crippled turtle. 54 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,967 'Would it kill you to trot, Lass?' 55 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,678 Is occasional skip too much to ask? 56 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,429 I have an idea. 57 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,849 'Since apparently this house is--' 58 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:24,477 Nothing but a sad, lonely, childless vestibule 59 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,938 that used to be filled with joy. 60 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,649 So why not plan a couple's retreat? 61 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,734 'Leave these hollow walls behind.' 62 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,778 (Fred) 'Ooh, not a bad idea.' 63 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,739 You know, Dr. Oz says after the kids move out 64 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,241 the genitals can often think 65 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,450 they're no longer needed. 66 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,452 They can wither and die. 67 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,037 'He would advise your mother and I' 68 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:45,915 to engage in rigorous sexual love-making 69 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,877 to trick our genitals into staying robust. 70 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,881 So maybe a trip to the Catskills. 71 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,680 ♪ Last night I had ♪ 72 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,183 ♪ A pleasant nightmare ♪ 73 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,144 ♪ Da-da-da-da ♪ 74 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,104 ♪ Da-da da ♪♪ 75 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,189 (Dalia) Okay. 76 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,942 Hey, you looking for somebody? 77 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,152 Yeah, do you know where Tessa is? 78 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,695 Oh, you must mean Tessandra. 79 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,238 She's our new exchange student. 80 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,574 - No. - Tessandra, your father's here. 81 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,992 My name's Susan. 82 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,285 She's just jiving. 83 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,787 - Okay. - Okay. 84 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,372 Daddy Altman, you came for me. 85 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,499 Uh, hey, Dalia, it's good to see you. 86 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,876 Thank you for saying that. 87 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,629 It's literally so good to hear you say that. 88 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,589 You're feeling exactly what I'm feeling 89 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,799 and by that, I mean, it's good to see you, too. 90 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,719 Okay, good, well, I gotta-- 91 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,430 I know you and mommy hate each other now 92 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,390 and I just want you to know 93 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,935 I stand with you. 94 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:50,271 Okay, D-Dalia, she and I don't.. 95 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,357 You know, it's more complicated than that. 96 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,067 She had a totes eclipse of the heart 97 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,277 but I totes didn't. 98 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,905 I just wish things could go back to the way they were. 99 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,865 Yeah, well.. 100 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,326 You know, I feel badly about how things ended, too. 101 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,871 [stomach growling] 102 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,791 I think I just got my appetite back. 103 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:12,085 Oh, well, when was the last time you ate? 104 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:15,046 What day is it today? 105 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,091 Right, um, you know what, here. 106 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,511 Is this a poor man's sack? 107 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,389 It's a tuna-fish sandwich, if that's what you mean. 108 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:27,684 I made it for Tessa, but if you're starving.. 109 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,478 [indistinct mumbling] 110 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,480 - Pardon? - Thank you. 111 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,940 You're welcome. 112 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,318 Slow down. 113 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,237 - Okay. - Mmm. 114 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,489 (woman on speakers) "Poor Little Bitch Girl" 115 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,116 by Jackie Collins. 116 00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:45,660 Belle Svetlana, surveyed her nude image 117 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,204 in a full-length mirror readying herself 118 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,916 for a $30,000-an-hour sexual encounter 119 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,128 with the 15-year-old son of an Arab oil tycoon. 120 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,921 Oh, an oil tycoon. 121 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,798 Her eyes were a spectacular 122 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,175 emerald green, her body.. 123 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,677 ...a playground of delights. 124 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,179 Ryan, used to love the playground, remember? 125 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,348 Sheila, how can you think about Ryan 126 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,059 when Svetlana is about to climb upon-- 127 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,477 His package. 128 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,937 Do you think Ryan ever got his package? 129 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:13,980 [sighs] 130 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,023 There were perishables in there. 131 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,858 It's been so warm. 132 00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:19,277 - He got the package. - How can you be so sure? 133 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,237 'Cause we tracked it, Sheila. It was delivered. 134 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,865 I know, but with those giant dorms 135 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:25,825 who knows if it got into Ryan's hands? 136 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,869 Some backwater Floridian could be eating 137 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,705 all of my homemade salted sesame shove 'ems! 138 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,207 We've already spoken with him once today, Sheila. 139 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,460 You gotta give the boy some space. 140 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,004 This was supposed to be a romantic weekend. 141 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,798 And it will be. 142 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:44,927 [sobbing] 143 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,932 (Tessa) Just as Fred was about to give up 144 00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,310 and turn the car around, he saw it. 145 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,520 The one thing that might make a difference 146 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,814 just sitting there on the side of the road. 147 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,066 [tires screeching] 148 00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,072 [instrumental music] 149 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,535 And I told Kimantha, she was doing it wrong 150 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,079 but she wouldn't listen. 151 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,373 Hair feathers are super complicated. 152 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,917 And now she looks like a duck. 153 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,460 Well, you know, you tried to warn her. 154 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,171 Yeah, and she was all "you're just jealous 155 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,548 because I was the first person to start wearing hair feathers." 156 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,301 And I'm all, "I guess you didn't see the photos from Hedonism II" 157 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,262 when I was totally wearing hair feathers all over the place." 158 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,390 And she was all.. 159 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,225 Don't let me stop you, she's all what? 160 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:33,643 Hey, Tess. 161 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,478 Hey, dad. 162 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,980 So weird to bump into you at my cafeteria 163 00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:41,317 hanging out with the girl who gave me a subcutaneous hematoma. 164 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,403 Do you mind? I'm still eating your lunch. 165 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,822 - Actually, I do mind. - I'm sorry. 166 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,573 You don't have to apologize, Daddy Altman. 167 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,826 But she was very, very hungry. 168 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,078 I eat your sandwich, Tessa. 169 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,746 Your daddy made it for you 170 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:54,789 but I eat it. 171 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:55,832 I see that. 172 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:58,626 And I drink your milk box. 173 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,044 [slurping] 174 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,338 I drink it all up. 175 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,048 See, George, this is why 176 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,093 you don't bring lunch to Dalia Day-Lewis. 177 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,012 Who's that? 178 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,310 I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. 179 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,770 She said she hadn't been eating. 180 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,063 That's because you don't need to eat 181 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,898 when you are the world's biggest bitch. 182 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,359 The suffering of others is your breakfast. 183 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,735 Backstabbing is your lunch 184 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,404 and the tears of the innocent 185 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,905 are your beverage. 186 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,490 Well, it sounds like you've put a lot of thought 187 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,117 into Dalia's meal plan. 188 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,119 But I can't help but feel like she's, you know 189 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,455 crying out for help, like she needs someone. 190 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,873 Oh, well, too bad. 191 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,791 George, you may be too blind to see this 192 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,461 but she is just trying to get between us. 193 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:43,671 And you are feeding the beast. 194 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,174 And you were feeding her my tuna sandwich. 195 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,386 [indistinct chatter] 196 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,762 [gasps] 197 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,435 (Sheila) 'Oh, Fred, look.' 198 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,270 I can also sing. 199 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,690 ♪ I wanna know what love is ♪ 200 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,401 ♪ I want you to show me ♪ 201 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,153 Fred, this is amazing. 202 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,197 I feel like a kid in a candy store. 203 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,158 How many can I have? 204 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,743 Well, with, uh, with our luggage 205 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,119 and our travel games in the back 206 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,705 I would say one, comfortably. 207 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,540 Can I help you find what you're looking for? 208 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,543 Um, yes, you don't happen to have any 209 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,962 European models, do you? 210 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,631 No, but we did get some new 211 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,174 one-year-olds in the other day. 212 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,717 They're sleeping through the night 213 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,760 and they won't last. 214 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,178 Oh, you hear that? 215 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,180 - What is your name? - Victor. 216 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,098 And you help out here? 217 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,017 When you get to be a certain age 218 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,727 you try to stay useful. 219 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,354 I see. 220 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:44,232 - Sheila, the one-year-olds. - Fred, just a second. 221 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,943 Victor, do you like sports? 222 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,486 Yes. 223 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,779 Have you ever wrestled? 224 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,739 Only all the time. 225 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,700 - And what about football? - That's my favorite. 226 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,494 And how would you describe your body? 227 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,289 Above average? 228 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,250 What do you think, Fred? 229 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,627 (Fred) 'Personally, I would have gone with a white one.' 230 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,838 You're right, black seemed so appealing in the show room 231 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,465 but in practice, it's a little 232 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,384 "Look at me, I'm doing something different." 233 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:12,885 Right, right. 234 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,679 Alright, let's, let's talk about the remodel. 235 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,597 What do you hope to achieve? 236 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:17,682 Ooh, okay. 237 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:18,766 I was inspired 238 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,727 by this wonderful HBO movie. 239 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:25,106 Prior, I had only thought of my bathtub as a place to get clean 240 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,774 without ever realizing the possibilities 241 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,359 for entertaining friends, family, colleagues. 242 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,903 I think, I think I know the movie you're talking about. 243 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,572 - Mm-hm. - You want something grand. 244 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,365 - The Grand Canyon. - Something dramatic. 245 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,284 Cute little slut. 246 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,994 That means yes. 247 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,288 How do you feel about columns? 248 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,832 A Greek bath house vibe. 249 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,293 George, you are speaking my language 250 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,919 and speaking it fluently. 251 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,547 I'm so glad, I took that referral. 252 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,090 Oh, I didn't know this was a referral. 253 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,592 - Who do I have to thank? - Mm, well.. 254 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:53,968 And then Kimantha was all 255 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,803 "You photoshopped those hair feathers 256 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,014 into those photos after you saw me wearing mine." 257 00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,890 - And I was all-- - Dalia, you, you did this? 258 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,517 Now we can hang out here together 259 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,852 free from Tessa's judgment. 260 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,604 This is a "no judgment" space. 261 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,480 What happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom. 262 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:07,815 Look, Dalia, I'm sorry 263 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,400 'but I-I can't use this renovation' 264 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,943 as a way of spending time with you. 265 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,613 But you said it was good to see me, remember? 266 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,032 Isn't it good to see me? 267 00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,951 Look, if you work things out with Tessa 268 00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,120 then maybe you and I could be friends. 269 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,831 But until then, I'm afraid 270 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,084 I'm gonna have to be all, "no." 271 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,922 You're doing it wrong. 272 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,091 Did all the empty-nest talk hurt my feelings? 273 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,761 Was I wounded when they refused to acknowledge 274 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,845 my very existence? 275 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:38,929 No. 276 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,349 Small price to pay, Tessa. 277 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,351 This is the first time in my whole entire life 278 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,603 I've had this house to myself. 279 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,731 And you wanna spend it sitting on the couch talking to me? 280 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,483 That was not the intention. 281 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,570 No, it was not. 282 00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,405 Oh. 283 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,907 That's my cue to leave. 284 00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,408 Yeah, you best get to steppin' 285 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,786 because let it be known.. 286 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,996 ...I'm about to do surgery. 287 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,666 'I need to prep this man for the OR.' 288 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,750 [door opens] 289 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,585 Oh, boy! 290 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,546 (Sheila) 'Guess who's back early?' 291 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:16,008 We cut our romantic weekend short because we fell in love.. 292 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,928 ...with Victor Ha! 293 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:25,976 What the hell is this? 294 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:29,438 This is your new brother, Victor. 295 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,357 Victor, we forgot to mention we also have a daughter. 296 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,235 - Yeah. - I love football. 297 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,363 [laughing] 298 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,989 Of course you do. 299 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,956 How could they do this to me? 300 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:49,625 I don't know. He seems pretty sweet. 301 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,794 Probably bounced around a lot, huh? 302 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,714 - Poor guy. - Poor guy, what about Malik? 303 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:58,092 I was about to give his fine ass a transfusion. 304 00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,677 You are really committing 305 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,680 to this whole surgery sex-talk thing, huh? 306 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,433 You absolutely have to. 307 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,268 Weird, Dallas just texted me 308 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:08,686 to pick up my final paycheck. 309 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,229 What's weird about that? 310 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,773 I haven't seen her since the break-up. 311 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,108 I hope it's not awkward between us. 312 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,651 Do you mind if I stop in? 313 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,198 "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya." 314 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,576 That's a 90s diss. 315 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,244 Hey! 316 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,329 Dallas, that's a '90s diss. 317 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,165 So is your face. 318 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,962 Did you just see that? 319 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,714 Yeah, that was weird. 320 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,090 But no weirder than a grown boy 321 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,468 calling two perfect strangers mommy and daddy. 322 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:41,886 Did I tell you Victor did that? 323 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,971 I wonder if Dallas is trying to punish me 324 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,765 for the whole "George and Dalia" thing. 325 00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,600 Yeah, well, Sheila's definitely punishing me 326 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,351 for the whole "being born" thing. 327 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,854 (Tessa) Lisa had a bone to pick with Victor. 328 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,230 And the next morning 329 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,482 she decided to pick it. 330 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,067 - Aah! - Hello, Victor. 331 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,612 Oh, Lisa, you startled me. 332 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,281 You're a bit jumpy on your own though, aren't you? 333 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,783 Uh, no. 334 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:06,494 No? My mistake. 335 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,662 Guess I don't have a real clear sense 336 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:11,791 of who Victor is just yet. 337 00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:14,835 Would you say you're a loner, wanderer? 338 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,587 Grifter of sorts? 339 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,714 - What's a grifter? - Are you a conman? 340 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,382 Because I'm getting some mighty weird vibes 341 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:23,469 coming from your direction and it's not the onesie.. 342 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,054 ...entirely. 343 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,430 How old a man are you? 344 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,433 Nine and three quarters, why? 345 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,560 Let's call it ten, you're pushing ten. 346 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,937 I guess so, yeah. 347 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,063 Great, so do me a favor. 348 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,439 Cut the "mommy, daddy" crap 349 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,233 'cause if you ask me, it reeks. 350 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,902 Oh, that's because I just went number two. 351 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,195 That's another thing 352 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,446 bathroom seniority. 353 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,824 I go first, understand? 354 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,784 Sure, sis. 355 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,619 And there's no hot breakfast on school days 356 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,662 so don't get your hopes up. 357 00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:51,580 We get breakfast? 358 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:54,291 Yes, Victor, we do. 359 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,670 Victor, how about some cinnamon toast this morning? 360 00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,506 - Oh, boy! - He's not even sick. 361 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,425 Lisa, your brother has a big day ahead of him. 362 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,970 He might even be playing some football after school. 363 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,054 Isn't that right, Victor? 364 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,514 Hut, hut, hike! 365 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:09,974 [Shelia laughing] 366 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,184 Oh, Victor, you are a treasure. 367 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,647 Lisa, did you stink up this bathroom again? 368 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,613 (George) 'And it turned out Dalia referred me for the job.' 369 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,449 But I told her not to bother contacting me again 370 00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:30,369 unless she was able to make things right with you. 371 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,829 And how did she take it? 372 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,206 Honestly, she looked crushed. 373 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,499 But I didn't get sucked in. 374 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,750 She was probably just trying 375 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,002 to manipulate me, like you said. 376 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,088 Yeah. 377 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,673 What's wrong? I did everything you said. 378 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,174 Did I mishandle something? 379 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,718 No. 380 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,847 I think maybe I did. 381 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,267 On the one hand, I hate her guts. 382 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,978 On the other hand, it sucks being dissed 383 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,271 by someone that you used to have 384 00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,024 a close personal relationship with. 385 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,901 I don't know what to do. 386 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:04,695 Have you considered vaginal reconstructive surgery? 387 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,825 - Why would I consider that? - I don't know. 388 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,786 I just keep seeing these pamphlets at my doctor's office. 389 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,455 At the home, they used to serve 390 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,373 steamed cauliflower on Wednesday. 391 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,375 It was my favorite. 392 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,127 That's nice, Victor. 393 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,879 Unfortunately, the other kids 394 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,047 weren't too wild about it 395 00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,298 and they complained. 396 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,050 Eventually, they stopped serving it. 397 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,885 Well, we're all very sorry to hear that. 398 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,970 They started serving cabbage rolls instead. 399 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,431 Cabbage rolls make my throat itch. 400 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,600 Sure, that makes sense. 401 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,268 But I never complained, because 402 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,645 I knew some of the other kids 403 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,605 really like cabbage rolls. 404 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,484 Right. 405 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:45,110 Just because I hate cauliflower 406 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,947 doesn't mean no one else should be allowed to eat it. 407 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,491 That's kind of the way I see life, Tessa. 408 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,410 Thanks. 409 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,287 Thanks, Victor. 410 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,331 Wow. 411 00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:01,460 That is not what I took away from that story. 412 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,837 (Tessa) I may have welcomed Victor and his advice 413 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,383 but Lisa was still determined to undo him. 414 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:10,094 Perfect little son. 415 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,012 We'll see about that. 416 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:20,104 Everybody's got a bone in their closet, Victor. 417 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,447 'And I just found yours.' 418 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,202 I can explain. 419 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,537 This is a Bionicle. 420 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:37,830 I know. 421 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,540 I'm just holding it for a friend. 422 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,791 I hate those things. 423 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,167 Those are for losers. 424 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,794 This is Takanuva 425 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,421 the Toa of Light. 426 00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:46,880 I wouldn't know. 427 00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:49,383 I'm more interested into football, wrestling 428 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,926 and throwing touchdowners. 429 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,636 I love touchdowners. 430 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:57,766 You know, Takanuva was my favorite Bionicle 431 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,018 when I was your age. 432 00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,519 Really? 433 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,062 Victor, my whole life I've lived in a house 434 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,565 where no one understood me. 435 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,443 I know how it feels to be ashamed of your Bionicles. 436 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:13,115 They taught us to just say yes to whatever the parents ask. 437 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,576 Your parents, they wanted a football player 438 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,161 with a great body. 439 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,288 That's not me. 440 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,040 I know. 441 00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,624 It's okay. 442 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,797 You're doomed. 443 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,891 (Sheila) 'How was football practice today, son?' 444 00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,727 - Did you "go long"? - Did I ever? 445 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,062 Do you think you'll make quarterback? 446 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,858 I know it's hard, Victor, but tell them. 447 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,367 Mom, dad. 448 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,828 I'm not who I said I am. 449 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,372 I'm a grifter. 450 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:05,667 No, no, no, no. 451 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,544 How could we have been so stupid? 452 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,213 Sheila, did you tell him your social security number? 453 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,506 I don't think so. 454 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,799 But we did discuss my mother's maiden name 455 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,050 and the street that I grew up on 456 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,551 'and the make of my first car.' 457 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,637 That's all he needs. We're finished! 458 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,598 He did not steal your identity. 459 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,975 But he did steal someone else's. 460 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:25,521 Yeah, I'm sorry, do I cancel my credit cards or not? 461 00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:26,897 Not. 462 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,024 But I'm afraid Lisa's right. 463 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,401 You see, my body's not as great 464 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,237 as you think it is. 465 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,030 And I don't love football 466 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,907 I love Bionicles. 467 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,202 He's not a Ryan, he's a Lisa. 468 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:43,080 I understand if you don't want me anymore. 469 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,290 And I'm sorry I lied. 470 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:48,085 - I'll get my things. - Victor, you stop right there. 471 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,087 You didn't steal our money. 472 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,339 But you did steal our hearts 473 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,633 which is only possible because you didn't steal our money. 474 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:55,676 [laughs] 475 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:56,760 To be honest, we're relieved 476 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,428 that you don't like football. 477 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,472 - You are? - You are? 478 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,141 (Sheila) 'The last thing we want' 479 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,685 is to lose another son. 480 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,687 And I never heard of anyone 481 00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:09,189 getting a Bionicle scholarship, have you? 482 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,774 Nope, there's no such thing. 483 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,276 [both laughing] 484 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:13,944 Now, tell us all about 485 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,487 this favorite hobby of yours. 486 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:19,491 Well, when the Shadow Leeches swamped Takanuva 487 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,076 they underestimated his cunning-- 488 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,579 Wait a minute, I have tried to discuss Bionicles 489 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,206 at this dinner table for years and it was forbidden. 490 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,125 Victor makes it sound more interesting than you did. 491 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,626 Victor knows how to frame a story. 492 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,962 Plus, you never mentioned the Shadow Leeches, Lisa. 493 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,255 If there are Shadow Leeches 494 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,257 you lead with Shadow Leeches! 495 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,843 (Victor) Well, Takanuva, he wasn't.. 496 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,513 (Tessa) With a bitter, deep-seated rivalry now firmly in place. 497 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,223 Lisa and Victor were starting 498 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,517 to feel like siblings after all. 499 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,894 [doorbell rings] 500 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:49,688 Just a sec. 501 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:50,731 Oh, no. 502 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,316 Tessa, talk to the hand 503 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,483 'cause the face don't give a damn. 504 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,028 Relax, Dallas. I'm here to see Dalia. 505 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,490 I don't have your dad 506 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,825 if that's what you're looking for. 507 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,327 No. 508 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,662 I wanted to let you know that I have been rethinking 509 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,832 my stance on your friendship with my dad. 510 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,876 Just because I hate you 511 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,294 doesn't mean he has to. 512 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,004 He could never hate me. 513 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,340 He thinks it's good to see me. 514 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,716 Ask him. 515 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,551 You can ask him yourself. 516 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:20,677 And in return 517 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,012 can you please tell your mother 518 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,472 to stop slamming me with-- 519 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,515 Whoop! There it is. I thought you knew. 520 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,267 I'm sorry. I'll stop. 521 00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,977 She made me, I.. 522 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,940 (Tessa) Looking into her icy blue eyes 523 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:35,609 I wasn't sure what this all meant to Dalia. 524 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,402 If anything. 525 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,029 I had no idea if things between us 526 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,739 would be any different. 527 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,491 Hey. 528 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,618 I've been meaning to ask you. 529 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,620 How did things go with your mom? 530 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,832 She left. 531 00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:55,629 I know. I just wanted to hear you say it. 532 00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,423 Thanks. 533 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,634 But everything's good with Ryan, right? 534 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,511 Okay, see ya. 535 00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:05,597 [door closes]